I’ve been a mummy for a whole year now, so what do I think being a parent means? 
What does being a parent really mean….
- Talking about poo
- Removing spaghetti bolognese from baby’s hair, clothes, …
- Repeating everything three times, lets ‘clean, clean clean’, ‘yumm yumm yumm’, ‘wipe wipe wipe’., ‘no, no, Nooooo not the TV/fireplace/wet wipes’..
- Finding raisin’s, pieces of grape, cheese, pasta…. down baby’s top, in her nappy!
- Lugging a bag bigger than baby around everywhere?
- A new strategy of car buying…. Not what looks nice/fast/sleek/sporty, more like what is the biggest and safest. The bigger the better, oh and what’s got the best NCAP rating, and cup holders and does it have built in sunscreens?! Yes, I really want a tank.
- Wondering where did those noisy floor boards come from?! You learn every squeak and creek, you dance like a ballerina, you large step like an animal and sneak like a snake, all just to have a quick peek at sleeping munchkin before bed
- Discovering car seats aren’t all the same, there is isofix, airplane safe, light, heavy, sunshades, side impact protection, wings, roll bars, attaching to the pram, never mind considering if the base works with another car seat too or the pram you like.
- For that matter, prams aren’t the same… They’re a minefield, the only solution is trying them. Research til the cows come home, but once you actually try it you’ll hate it, you’ll wonder what you were thinking…. I NEED a cup holder/brake in the middle/toy bar/adjustable leather handle…?
- Using wet wipes for everything
- Using a muslins for everything else
- Carrying ducks with you wherever you go, play dates, the doctors, lunch, a walk in the park, date night…
- Finding used wet wipes in your bags, pockets, car seats, cup holders… Yes on datenight too. Yes, seriously we’ve been on 3 dates nights in a year, and ducks, wet wipes and socks have made an appearance!
- Your house becomes a toy zone, everything baby safe and toys get ‘sorted’ and ‘unsorted’ all day.
- Finding odd baby socks anywhere they shouldn’t be, and usually ones baby grew out of 2 months ago
- Singing, I sing everything and if that doesn’t work, jump about like a lune pulling silly (crazy) faces, just to get baby to crack a smile
- Constantly see the “your phone is full, click here to adjust your storage” message. Arghhhhhh it drives me mad!
- Taking too many photos to really choose any decent ones, millions
- Driving much more cautiously, I’m now that old lady driver who just refuses to turn right at a junction, with a HUGE queue of cars behind frustrated at why it’s taken 5 minutes so far…
- Drink lattes like they’re going out of fashion
- Attend all sorts of baby groups and classes, and of course have coffee afterwards too. It’s a must. Mummy must have coffee, and cake. We NEED the cake.
- Forget lunch. I understand that at work I would get busy and forget lunch, but at home all day, how can I forget? Just how?!
- Giving hubby a run down of baby’s poos from the day, and exclaiming, “there was pepper IN her poo! She did eat some!!“
- Knowing every nursery rhyme, and more. Making them up left right and centre to keep baby happy. Lets face it old macdonald needs some new animals…. Bears, pandas, crocodiles, worms anyone?
- Watching cbeebies.
- Mr Tumble. Creepy, odd, bizarre Mr Tumble. Oh how I dislike that man, I hate that programme. Please just stop making it cbeebies!
- Scraping spag bol off the walls?
- Having an orange baby, and actually turning orange yourself due to picking up said baby following a spag bol IS finger food moment.
- Cleaning up the worst nappies you’d ever though imaginable, figurin out how to remove yellowy-brown clothes from baby without getting it on you. Figuring out how to not get poo everywhere, when it’s already exploded. Somehow stopping those screaming waving kicking arms and legs from getting more covered in poo.?
- Packing huge packed lunches. Not for you, for baby. Really how much does she eat! Celery, pepper, grapes for healthy snacks, sandwiches or on lazy days a pouch of food, yoghurt, and don’t forget the staple save-you-at-the-checkout raisins and rice cakes! Never leave home without raisins and rice cakes. That’s just asking for trouble.
- Baby has her own cupboard of baby cups and bowls. Yes they are all different, we need them all. We have a cupboard full. Which seems a waste of time when she love drinking from our glasses (with us holding it of course!)?
- A hot cup of tea does not exist, luke warm yes, hot no. Unless baby is actually napping or being good in their high-chair, or asleep. Even then I get side tracked and forget about that one thing I’ve been craving.?
- Sleep, well I couldn’t end without that necessity could I? Everyone talks about it, it’s like poo. We want naps, we want baby to sleep through. We just want more than 2 hours straight, and if we don’t bring it up in conversations someone else will. Or, they’ll just tell you what you’re doing wrong. Enough said. This is not a ranty post. But a lie in would be nice!
Hope this made you crack a smile, I know it’s been very therapeutic writing it. Sorry for all the poo!
Lynne x
PS. If you liked this you might also like 6 Things only a Parent Would Say, Nap Time Poem, ?6 Ways to Have a Hot Cup of Tea, & of course 5 Reasons a Newborn Baby WILL Make You Late.
61 Comments
Laura's Lovely Blog
December 4, 2015 at 8:53 pmNo I don’t think a hot cup of tea does exist anymore! And the toys just get worse as they get older, just warning you 😉
Laura’s Lovely Blog recently posted…MONTHLY REVIEW: November 2015
newmummy
December 11, 2015 at 12:09 amHaha thanks ?
Maestro mummy
December 5, 2015 at 11:30 pmHaha this made me laugh! I can relate to most of these. Wet wipes get used for EVERYTHING in our house these days- don’t know how I managed without them 😉 #KCACOLS
Maestro mummy recently posted…Chiddlers’ Hour at the Roald Dahl Museum and Story Centre
Silly Mummy
December 5, 2015 at 11:46 pmHaha! Very accurate! Especially spag bol babies, wet wipes in pockets, creaking house, and millions of photos. #KCACOLS
Silly Mummy recently posted…Christmas Is a Wrap With Zazzle
Random Musings
December 6, 2015 at 1:34 amI’m not even a parent and I use baby wipes for everything! Sometimes you look at this tiny little baby and wonder how on earth it produces poo with such force lol 🙂 Thanks for hosting #KCACOLS
Debbie
Random Musings recently posted…Origins Of Christmas
Rebecca U
December 6, 2015 at 2:25 amYes, very true to all of it. Wet wipes and muslins all day everyday! #KCACOLS
Rebecca U recently posted…Food From Around the World | Bulgarian Inspired Recipes
veronica lee
December 6, 2015 at 6:20 amLOL!!! They poo when they cry and cry when they poo! Kinda glad those days are behind me! Shudder!!!!
#KCACOLS
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Crummy Mummy
December 6, 2015 at 8:44 amYes to all of these! It never fails to amaze me how much food ends up in nappies! #KCACOLS
Crummy Mummy recently posted…#MySundayPhoto
Markus
December 6, 2015 at 8:50 amYes indeed this made me smile quite a bit! I remember the days when the boys were that age! Talking about CBeebies I don’t think mr tumble is that bad. There are things that are far stranger! Same smile, pop shop, Balamory, baby jake to name just a few! 🙂 #KCACOLS
Markus recently posted…What a SAHD and twin boys think of fashion #BEDN
Laura
December 6, 2015 at 9:00 amLove this list! Especially the wet wipes lol! Told my husband the other day that I’m gonna carry on buying long after our kids are grown up since they are so useful ha ha! Thanks for sharing 🙂 #kcacols
wendy
December 6, 2015 at 9:06 amHaha, this is all very true. Especially finding socks and wet wipes everywhere! Aww you gotta love an orange baby, I have so many pictures of my boy covered on spag bol. Loved this post xx #KCACOLS
Mommy's Little Princesses
December 6, 2015 at 10:19 amLol great list. Oh yes a warm cuppa now what’s that? I mean you can’t even get to drink a lukewarm one in peace *giggles*. xx #KCACOLS
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Laura's Lovely Blog
December 6, 2015 at 10:34 amI have already commented, but just popping by from #kcacols
Laura’s Lovely Blog recently posted…MONTHLY REVIEW: November 2015
Cheryl @ ReimerandRuby
December 6, 2015 at 10:43 amHahaha! this made my day… all so true! the mess and stinks involved with being a parent is unbelievable. However, we won’t still go back to the time without them though. Lovely post Lynne! #KCACOLS
Cheryl @ ReimerandRuby recently posted…Reimer’s first swimming Lesson!
Sara at Handy Herbs
December 6, 2015 at 11:51 amYes, this definitely made me smile! It is all so true and part and parcel of being a parent I suppose! At least it is the same for all of us and good that we can have a laugh about it otherwise we would surely go insane 😉 #KCACOLS
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Charlotte
December 6, 2015 at 12:05 pmhaha in my house toys are never sorted… they are retrieved and thrown back out when they are tidied away – being a mum means having to get over the image of a spotless house :p ! great list #KCACOLS
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Amanda
December 6, 2015 at 12:08 pmI like that you added Mr Tumble, isn’t he the strangest creepiest, but all the kids love him!
Amanda #KCACOLS
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Lex
December 6, 2015 at 2:05 pmThis is spot on. You absolutely nailed it and had me chuckling away. Everyone has that baby cupboard full of bottles, sippy cups etc … And no matter how many times you sort it it will always look full to the brim. I use wet wipes for absolutely everyone, chocolate on the floor? Get a wet wipe! Who needs a shower when you have a bulk buy of those haha. #KCACOLS
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Becky (@EducatingR)
December 6, 2015 at 2:08 pmHilarious! I love the one about repeating everything three times! 🙂 #KCACOLS
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Jessica Powell
December 6, 2015 at 3:30 pmHaha, agree with so many of these! Way too many times I’ve been at work and pulled out teething toys, bottle caps and even the obligatory used wetwipes when I’m trying to find my agenda / pen / swipe card. The poo talk too – I mean, I could go months without even mentioning the word ‘poo’ before I became a parent, lol. 🙂 #KCACOLS
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Chloe
December 6, 2015 at 3:46 pmI LOVE THIS SO MUCH!!!! 😀 Especially using wetwipes for everything and prams etc being a minefield. In fact, every single point was absolutely correct! I wouldn’t change being a parent for the world though. xxx #kcacols
Mrs Tubbs
December 6, 2015 at 6:49 pmSo true! Wet wipes are amazing and can be used for everything! And spag bol gets everywhere! It is quite impressive!
Mrs Tubbs recently posted…The Three Graces. #MySundayPhoto
Claire at Tin Box Traveller
December 6, 2015 at 7:55 pmLattes, cake…yes! Bring on more. Squeaky floor boards – they are just the bane of my life! I think you’ve captured the true meaning of parenthood here 🙂 #KCACOLS
Claire at Tin Box Traveller recently posted…Victorian Festival of Christmas at Portsmouth Historic Dockyard
lizzie ( firstooth )
December 6, 2015 at 7:59 pmAll I can say is… FML! Love this, it rings so true. The things we do for our little munchkins, huff #kcacols
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Julie Downes
December 6, 2015 at 8:07 pmWet wipes are amazing! Mr Tumble…. I agree but the kids do love him! And oh squeaky floors – the number of times I’ve avoided trying to tread on them, great post! x #KCACOLS
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Alice
December 6, 2015 at 8:56 pmTrue! The wonderful, maddening lives of us parents! But I think I can make number 29 a little easier – envelope necks mean that you can actually pull the vest down when it’s all covered in poo, not over your baby’s head. No more poo hair! Finding this out was a real life changer for me. Hope that helps! It is hard to keep their prying hands out of it though… :/
x Alice
#kcacols
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Arthurwears
December 6, 2015 at 9:06 pmAhhh this is my life!! The phone memory – oh my days! I missed a magical moment because it was too full to take a picture …. And saying everything in threes…. Didn’t even realise,realise,realise! I do it all the time lol! #KCACOLS
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Tammymum
December 6, 2015 at 10:04 pmSuch a relatable list of motherhood! I especially love 7 and 10, I dance across my landing every night and have been known to wipe my only remaining clean jeans with a wet wipe just before leaving the house. Glad to see I’m not the only one! #KCACOLS
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Trista, Domesticated Momster
December 6, 2015 at 10:05 pmThe diapers before solid food are horrible!!! I actually took a picture of one once and posted it on Facebook with the caption “the joys of motherhood”. It was the only way I could laugh about it because it was so bad. Great post and I can remember relating to so many of them. #KCACOLS
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becca farrelly
December 6, 2015 at 10:31 pmGreat list! I remember it well, some of it is still applicable as we have a toddler but I had forgotten a few of these! 🙂
#KCACOLS
Kirsty Ho Fat
December 7, 2015 at 11:29 amGawdddd the days of hot tea! As a Yorkshire lass I feel I’ve lost a right arm when I drink luke warm tea. And never mind Mr Tumble, what the hell is ‘Iggle Piggle’. That thing is what nightmares are made of! x #KCACOLS
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Ellie @ Hand Me Down Baby
December 7, 2015 at 9:24 pmOh, we have the same nappy bag! Except mine looks a lot worse for wear now we’re on to baby #2, lol!
Wait til you have to start making up stories for your child – takes your imagination to a whole new level.
And I totally agree about Mr Tumble. We don’t watch that freaky, freaky, man! Ugh. Shudder!
Thanks for co-hosting #KCACOLS this week x
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Becky at PinksCharming
December 7, 2015 at 9:42 pmHe he this is so true! Now, I don’t see cake as a treat, I feel hard done by if I don’t get some every day! Becky x #KCACOLS
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A Moment with Franca
December 8, 2015 at 9:09 amhaha this list is so accurate!! I use baby wipes and kleenex for everything! I have them in every room in my flat and in the car. I also use a lot the nappy bags but not just for nappies but for any rubbish as having kids increases the amount of rubbish we have around us. It is unbelievable!! They are super useful in the car. The cupboard full of baby cups and bowls is so so true. They just need so much space. My flat looks like if there have passed a storm every day. lol Great post Lynne. This is a great list! Thanks so much for sharing this at #KCACOLS and for being my guest co-host this week. I hope you are enjoying reading and commenting all these amazing posts! 🙂 xx
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newmummy
December 10, 2015 at 11:46 pmThank you. And thank you for letting me be your guest co-host, it’s so much fun reading such a variety of fab blogs x
tracey bowden
December 8, 2015 at 11:20 amHaha oh this is so true I remember it well. I also thought that now my daughter was older I would finally get a hot cup of tea. Wrong. I make it, I rush around, forget that I’ve made it and start all over again! Great post I enjoyed reading it #KCACOLS
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newmummy
December 10, 2015 at 11:45 pmIt’s a vicious circle isn’t it!
Becky at PinksCharming
December 9, 2015 at 12:42 pmPopping back from #bestandworst and still love this post 🙂 xx
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newmummy
December 10, 2015 at 11:44 pmThank you! X
Meagan
December 9, 2015 at 1:05 pmHaha I’m not even a parent yet (40 weeks yesterday) but I can relate with the pram and car seat, I was really confused about the isofix thing for longer than I’d like to admit! Finding a pram was like trying to buy a car!
newmummy
December 10, 2015 at 11:44 pmYou’ve a heads up on the rest now 🙂
Martin - At Home With The Boys
December 9, 2015 at 6:09 pmBeing the SAHD, I can relate to almost all of those points, especially the Mr.Tumble one. Although I’m not keen on him, It does bring a smile to the kids faces and it’s great that he can communicate through sign.
Strange things in nappies – we managed to find two small padlock keys (Christmas Cracker size) and a pea size ball.
The joys of parenthood, we wouldn’t change it for the world. #kcacals
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newmummy
December 10, 2015 at 11:44 pmOh wow! At least they ended up in the nappy and not eaten!
Thanks for reading and commenting 🙂
helen gandy
December 9, 2015 at 9:43 pmHaha Lynne yes, yes, yes!! Brilliant post and I was nodding with agreement 🙂 Thanks for linking up to the #bestandworst see you again!
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newmummy
December 10, 2015 at 11:40 pmHahaha thank you!! Glad I’m not the only one 🙂
Katie
December 10, 2015 at 9:54 amThat, I have to say, was bloody awesome. Made me giggle because as I was reading I stuck my hand in my cardi and pulled out and old wet wipe and a sock! You are in fact all knowing!!
newmummy
December 10, 2015 at 11:39 pmHahaha I just know these things 🙂
Talya
December 10, 2015 at 1:46 pm#tellingithowitis – my kinda girl! Love a bit of parenting truths. Thanks so much for linking up to #coolmumclub lovely xx
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newmummy
December 10, 2015 at 11:38 pmHehehe they’re so fun to write aren’t they! This was going to be 10 points… But I got a bit carried away 🙂
Tim
December 10, 2015 at 5:58 pmOh yes, we went through many of these too and are thankfully coming out the other side of it now.
We changed my car when our first child arrived, then my wife’s car when the second one was due and then her car again ahead of the arrival of our third – three car seats in the back, grrr. Thankfully the fact that our two boys are now big enough to climb into the back of a car and belt themselves up (and the fact that my wife is more than happy driving the family wagon) means that I have been able to trade my sensible car in for something a little more … sporty. Funnily enough, the child who loves it the most is our little girl – because she gets to sit in the front!
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newmummy
December 10, 2015 at 11:37 pmBrilliant, enjoy your fun car 🙂
I think my husband will be doing the same trade, once we decide on my new car.
Clare
December 11, 2015 at 7:04 pmHaha! Very funny & very true, but let me pre warn you, our old macdonald has a farm, a petting zoo, an actual zoo, a safari park & an aquarium! He is one busy man I tell ya! xx
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newmummy
December 18, 2015 at 8:42 amHahaha
Mum in Brum
December 12, 2015 at 2:12 pmThis definitely made me crack a smile – how does food (undigested) end up in the nappy? It’s a mystery to me! Also am so guilty of my phone’s storage being constantly full – it’s so annoying! I’m so with you in Mr Tumble – he’s so creepy! #Brilliantblogposts xx
newmummy
December 18, 2015 at 8:42 amHaha so glad we agree on Mr Tumble 🙂
My Petit Canard
December 12, 2015 at 11:11 pmHi Lynne, I cant believe you came up with 33 very true and good things about being a parent. The tea thing – so true when you have a baby (dont worry, tea makes a reappearance in your life when they get a little bit older!), the creaks in the floorboard used to drive me insane when my little one was an infant, and I thought it was just me that ignored that annoying phone is full message for at least 6 months ;-). Great post! Emily #KCACOLS
newmummy
December 18, 2015 at 8:43 amThank you!
Maria @ Suburban Mum
December 13, 2015 at 11:56 amI can relate to every single one of these! You’ve hit the nail on the head! We are having a real issues with toys at the moment. We have too many and we are struggling to narrow them down but we HAVE to do this before Christmas as there will be a whole bunch of new toys arriving! I blame the husband – he doesn’t want to get rid of them all!!! lol #KCACOLS
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newmummy
December 18, 2015 at 8:43 amHahaha he wants new Brio and Lego too?
My 2015 review / 6 months of blogging - New Mummy Blog
January 2, 2016 at 8:48 am[…] but three of my favourites are missing from that list. They are: The Baby Led Weaning Coefficient, What Being a Parent REALLY Means & The Nap Time […]
Jessie Fitzgerald
January 5, 2016 at 2:21 pmThis is the most accurate list of what being a parent means. I wish that I didn’t need to deal that much with poo and cleaning it, but the the truth is that this is a very big part of parenting. Also cleaning after eating. Kids have the great ability to smear the food on their faces, often in ears and nose, too. Cleaning after them is an endless chore! 🙂 For the rest I am a happy parent of two… just I wanted to confirm the harsh reality! 🙂 Thanks for the list! Thumbs up!